Unit 4

I found the most beneficial moment of the exercise to be when the speaker told us to us to give all of our mental processes spaciousness and ease and loosen any grasping and attachments. I tend to chase my own thoughts, and when I catch them, pin them down and choke them til they spill all meaning and truth for me. I want to know what’s true, and I want to know as much of that truth as possible, and I want to know it NOW. But unless truth is like toothpaste, which is supposed to ooze out when you squeeze it, might it become distorted if not treated gently?

For me, calming (the heck) down and just mentally “chilling” is definitely something I need to work on. Exercises like this still drive me nuts. I’m not a high strung person – but I’m really very mentally active. But taking time like this is something that’s good for me. Timing one’s breaths and giving space to thoughts allows me to become more intentional about what those thoughts and feelings are and how to better direct them.

I guess it’s this concept that’s the biggest “mental workout” for me. To use an exercise example – it’s the difference between pushups, which are a dynamic exercise, and a plank, which really, is just about holding still for a hot minute. But those planks can make you shake and sweat… and then make you stronger in ways that are surprising.

Unit 3

I would say that physically, I’m at about a 7-8. There was a time in the not too distant past where I would have put myself at about a 9 or 10, but life has come along and complicated things. I’m in the middle of a (ugly) divorce, I’m working full time, and I just started back to school. I used to eat three very healthy meals a day and work out 5 days a week, logging approx 20 running miles per week, plus lifting, swimming, etc. But between stress knocking my appetite flat and my schedule making trips to the gym a little less frequent, I’ve slid back a little bit. Thankfully, I’m looking at this coming week, and I already have some healthy food planned and prepared, and I know I’ll be able to make it to the gym 4 times. Hopefully within the next 3-6 months, I’ll be able to work my way back to where I was… and beyond! :)

Spiritually, I think I’m doing pretty well also. I converted from mainstream western Christianity to Orthodox Christianity almost a year ago and I am completely and totally in love with it. I find that prayer is healing and building and changing me. I feel more spiritually solid than I ever have in my life. I don’t know what God would say, but I’m feeling good. I would say a 9. (Not that I’m a candidate for sainthood – let’s look at my life and be realistic here, hahaha – what I mean is that I’m growing and I know I’m exactly where I need to be.)

Psychologically, I’m going to go ahead and say 5 or 6. I struggle with the grief and fury and disappointment and insecurities that come when a marriage dies. I have a tendency towards anxiety and that button sticks out a bit more than I wish it would these days. I’m in counseling and have amazing friends so I’m definitely getting better. But things are shaky in this season.

Physical goal: I have this tendency to push push push myself, sometimes without asking whether
what I’m doing is smart or healthy. Last week, I tried to go to the gym and ended up seeing spots. I hadn’t fueled my body properly. Now, I love going to the gym, so I’ve promised myself that there’s no going if I haven’t eaten three full healthy meals the day before. Pretzels and an
apple don’t count. :)

Spiritual goal: We’re in the middle of Lent, so my current goal is faithfully maintain the disciplines I’ve sent out for myself. I find that they’re a gift, not a requirement, and only good things come of it.

Psychological goal: I’m working on being more intentional in my thought processes: seeking
out what’s true, and trusting that truth and acting on it regardless of how I may feel in the moment.

The relaxation exercise was… OK. I’ve never particularly taken to these sorts of things. I’m working on it. I promise. I thought the talk about the different locations and colors was symbolic and interesting, but I didn't find that it did anything to me...

Unit 2: Relaxation

I found the exercise to be very interesting, if a bit challenging. I had a hard time for three major reasons:
1) I'm sleepy. It was a battle to stay awake.
2) My cat kept stepping on me. That kept me awake, but distracted.
3) My brain kept engaging what he was saying. I was too busy thinking about what was supposed to be happening, and why, and how, to really get too deeply into the exercise.

I think the third stumbling block bothers me the least. This class so far is completely fascinating to me, and *nerd alert* I really enjoyed the readings, and thinking through all the implications. The strength of the interconnectedness of the mind, body, and spirit, is greater than I thought it was, and the way those systems work together is just too interesting. I want to know more, and the wanting to know is getting in the way of the experience at the moment.

In the future, I look forward to being able to put my mind and rest and then more completely engage in the exercises.

Greetings folks.  I'm not new to blog-dom, but I've been out of practice for over a year.  I'm almost 30 and returning to school after being out for 8.  EIGHT.  It doesn't seem that long, but I'm excited about it.  I've always been a bookworm and a nerd, but I'm excited to give this whole school thing another crack now that I'm older and wiser.  ;)

I'm fascinated by all things human.  I love to work out, and I'll admit it's for both health and vanity.  But the truth is, I think strength and health are beautiful.  So perhaps "vanity" is the wrong word.  I'm just striving for the whole package I guess.  I try to maintain as healthy a diet as possible (but I'm not going to lie - there's just nothing like pizza and beer, haha.)  But on that note, I'm all about the healthy relationships.  If it's good, really good,  bring it on.  :)

There's treasure everywhere.  I don't want to miss out on any of it.

Welcome to the blog.  Hopefully here I'll stumble upon some truths, and rather than hurry off, I hope to stay with them.