I would say that physically, I’m at about a 7-8. There was a time in the not too distant past where I would have put myself at about a 9 or 10, but life has come along and complicated things. I’m in the middle of a (ugly) divorce, I’m working full time, and I just started back to school. I used to eat three very healthy meals a day and work out 5 days a week, logging approx 20 running miles per week, plus lifting, swimming, etc. But between stress knocking my appetite flat and my schedule making trips to the gym a little less frequent, I’ve slid back a little bit. Thankfully, I’m looking at this coming week, and I already have some healthy food planned and prepared, and I know I’ll be able to make it to the gym 4 times. Hopefully within the next 3-6 months, I’ll be able to work my way back to where I was… and beyond! :)
Spiritually, I think I’m doing pretty well also. I converted from mainstream western Christianity to Orthodox Christianity almost a year ago and I am completely and totally in love with it. I find that prayer is healing and building and changing me. I feel more spiritually solid than I ever have in my life. I don’t know what God would say, but I’m feeling good. I would say a 9. (Not that I’m a candidate for sainthood – let’s look at my life and be realistic here, hahaha – what I mean is that I’m growing and I know I’m exactly where I need to be.)
Psychologically, I’m going to go ahead and say 5 or 6. I struggle with the grief and fury and disappointment and insecurities that come when a marriage dies. I have a tendency towards anxiety and that button sticks out a bit more than I wish it would these days. I’m in counseling and have amazing friends so I’m definitely getting better. But things are shaky in this season.
Physical goal: I have this tendency to push push push myself, sometimes without asking whether
what I’m doing is smart or healthy. Last week, I tried to go to the gym and ended up seeing spots. I hadn’t fueled my body properly. Now, I love going to the gym, so I’ve promised myself that there’s no going if I haven’t eaten three full healthy meals the day before. Pretzels and an
apple don’t count. :)
Spiritual goal: We’re in the middle of Lent, so my current goal is faithfully maintain the disciplines I’ve sent out for myself. I find that they’re a gift, not a requirement, and only good things come of it.
Psychological goal: I’m working on being more intentional in my thought processes: seeking
out what’s true, and trusting that truth and acting on it regardless of how I may feel in the moment.
The relaxation exercise was… OK. I’ve never particularly taken to these sorts of things. I’m working on it. I promise. I thought the talk about the different locations and colors was symbolic and interesting, but I didn't find that it did anything to me...
I think planning will help you in many aspects of your life. My family plans a weekly dinner menu and it certainly helps avoid extra trips to the grocery store but keep us on track health-wise as well. If unhealthy food is there and we haven't planned our day, then we will most likely eat the junk. I pack a lunch for work every day and keep a stash of snacks in my desk; sometimes I may eat something other than what I packed--a Girl Scout cookie that made its way into the office-but most of the time I eat what I bring to work. It has saved me countless calories I am sure. I know it takes some getting used to but I think it will help you in the end.
ReplyDeleteGood luck on your journey!!!
I can relate to the changes that occur during a divorce. Not that I am proud of it, but I have been there twice. It is a trying time, but it does pass. Hopefully, you will bounce back without a problem and be back into a normal routine soon that will lead to your happiness. I undertand that a situation such as this can make things seem a little worse than they are also, so do not let it break you down. Stay strong and show the ex that they are the one missing out, you are going to be just fine. And remember, it is always necessary to be with someone because you want to be, nit because you feel that you need to be with someone.
ReplyDeleteStephanie
Hello stumble and stay! Boy wait till you read mine! Yours view of yourself is way better than mine! I am very sorry to hear about your divorce! I hope you are okay! Friends are great to have to bring you back! Exercise is one way to take your mind off of it! :) Wow, it seems like you did a lot before! Where do you get your energy? There is no need to push too hard with yourself! Think, is it healthy to push too hard? Doing too much is not good either.
ReplyDeleteHello Lisa,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about your divorce. It is a very tough situation to go through. But as you can see you are not alone. It is a road of anger and frustration, but it will get better. I applaud your desire to return to a healthier lifestyle. You have a full schedule with work and school. Make sure you do eat properly, ease back into your exercise routine, and most of all make sure you get enough sleep. With fatigue will come depression, an increase of anxiety and frustration. Take time out for yourself, count your blessings and set up a support system with friends, family and/or church members to help you get through this. You can do this!
Hi Lisa,
ReplyDeleteI am sending prayers to you and your family. Divorce is a very stressful event. I have heard say it is easier to deal with a death of a spouse than a divorce. From my experience I believe that to be true. I can tell you what helped me get through it many, many years ago. When I realized I wanted a husband who worked with me, not one I had to work for. I am happy to say that although I was a single parent for 11 years before I married my best friend. Believe me when I said he was worth the wait.
Looking back at my time raising my son, I can see that it was a positive growth spurt. I fell in love because I was ready, not because I was needy.
Just by reading your blog, I can tell that you are one amazing lady, who will continue to set yourself up for success. Keep moving forward, even if it is a baby step at a time. There are many wonders awaiting such an amazing "still working on it" woman.
Believe in you!!!
Deb