Truth be told, the first exercise was a stretch for me. I am quite accustomed to praying for such things, but prayer is a request directed at an intelligent agent, specifically in my case, God. To make what could be a request into what felt like an undirected wish seemed odd. Almost, but not, like a birthday wish. Minus the candles. Too harsh?
But. Then I reread what it was for. It doesn’t seem to be intended to be something that emanates directly out from us and into the cosmos. It is something that we produce in ourselves first for our own sakes. Sounds awfully narcissistic put that way... but let me clarify. It’s an exercise that changes us so that we can change the world we’re in. Yes? It’s not a prayer, it is a hope. And hope changes things by first changing the one who hopes. Choosing to hope for something good will push us to work for it.
The assessment process was something else altogether. Hello clarity. Nice to have you smack me in the face again. I missed it. No really, I mean it, I did.
“What aspect of my life – psychospiritual, biological, interpersonal, or worldly – is the source of difficulty or suffering?”
Him, that, those, this. All that. All that is the problem. Nope, try again. What, really, is the source of the suffering? All that interpersonal nonsense is creating an internal situation that I’m not dealing well with. All that interpersonal stuff is not the source. It’s not the place that the pain is springing from. The pain is springing from me reacting to those situations not out of a place of stillness and strength, but out of a place of chaos, weakness, and fear. The source of the problem is psychospiritual. I need to tell myself to just “calm down, yo”. You will suffer less if you unclench your fist just a little bit, chill, give it a hot minute. Address the internal weakness that’s reacting. Stop reacting. Start acting. Be intentional. Your intentions are good and wise. Let those be the fulcrum and the muscle.
Geez.
Exercise to implement: Strengthening my witnessing and then calm-abiding mind through the practice of silence and meditation. Good prayers will spring out of all that silence.
Hello there,
ReplyDeleteIt looks like we have to work in the same area. I picked psychospiritual as well; you gave me the idea that I can practice prayer to develop this area. I think the most important step to develop each area and improve it, is to take action. Several times, we take decisions of doing something after recognizing where we have to work, but the decision does not mean anything without the action taken. Great post, I felt I was listening to you saying all those words. I liked the way you structure sentences, like talking to yourself and narrating at the same time.
~Yesica Gonzalez.