Unit 9 Project

Introduction:

The healer must first be the healee. The healer must submit themselves to the very treatment that they intend to recommend to their patients.  I think the best image is the “three pot metaphor” that Dacher refers to (Dacher, 2006, p. 167). In short, a pot is useless unless it is upright, whole, and clean. We can’t hope to pour wisdom from ourselves into someone else if we’re upside down, broken, or dirty. What can we hope to give? Further, what would anyone hope to get? A Chevy salesman driving a Ford is not going to be taken seriously. We must be constantly striving for full human flourishing because only then can we be effective, inspiring, and passionate.

Assessment:

I would say that physically, I’m not doing too badly, but I’m not where I want to be.  There was a time in the not too distant past when I think I did much better than I’m doing now.  I’m finding in recent weeks (OK, maybe months), that my diet and nutrition have started to suffer.  Not that I’m eating badly – it’s that I’m not eating enough, especially when I take into account my daily physical activity.  I’m a server, so I’m very active at work, and I work out 4-5 times per week.  Each workout incorporates a minimum of 30 minutes of cardio, plus targeted strength training and flexibility.  I need to be consuming 1800-2000 calories per day and I know I routinely fall way below that.  If I could bring my nutrition up, my physical exercise ability would also improve, and my overall physical health would be very good.  Further, a well-nourished body is better able to manage stress, which will have an effect on my spiritual and psychological aspects as well.

                Spiritually, I’m doing pretty well.  I converted from mainstream western Christianity to Orthodox Christianity almost a year ago and I am completely and totally in love with it. The way the Orthodox approach life as a whole, and the human being as a whole, is refreshing and uplifting.  It’s the most “useful” form of Christianity that I’ve ever encountered.  I know that sounds crass, but religion is for something, and what’s the point if it’s not having an effect on us?  It is certainly having an effect on me, and it’s definitely for the better. 

Psychologically, I’m struggling, but I think the struggle is making me stronger.  I’m going through an increasingly unpleasant divorce and struggle with the grief and anger and sadness and disappointment and insecurities that come when a marriage dies. I have a tendency towards anxiety and that button sticks out a bit more than I wish it would these days. I’m in counseling and have amazing friends so I’m definitely getting better. We can’t become courageous if we’re never scared, and we can’t get stronger if we’re never challenged.


Goal development and personal practices:

My physical goal is to continue to become more intentional about my diet and more disciplined in my exercise routine.  To aid in my dietary intentionality, I’m keeping a food journal to make sure that I’m eating both enough (calories) and properly (empty calories can’t count).  I’m choosing what I eat based on what my body needs, and I’m eating when I need to, not just when I feel like it or “can” (which, when added together, equals approximately never).  When it comes to my exercise routine, I’m not lacking in motivation, just working out proper time management to get everything accomplished that I need to in a day.  Again, I operate well when I can see things laid out in front of me.  Like the food journal, which is a written exercise, I will also write out my exercise plan for the week.  I will include which days and times I will go to the gym as well as what cardio I will do and which muscle groups I will focus on.

                My spiritual goal is to make daily, directed, intentional prayer a habit.  It’s easy to lie down in bed at night and direct my daily Christmas list at the ceiling while I’m falling asleep.  But the truth is that does very little for anybody.  The mercy of God is enormous, and He hears and responds to even our weakest, silliest prayers.  But I’m really not interested in a one-way relationship with a wish-granter.  I want to know God.  I want Him to know me.  I want that infusion of wisdom, patience, grace, strength, love, etc, etc, etc, that comes from communion with the Divine.  Again, I have a two-fold plan in place.  The first will be to set time aside for prayer.  No more trailing prayers off into sleep.  The second will be to read and study.  The saints have a said a lot about prayer.  It’s high time I started paying attention. 

                My psychological goal is, in short, to quit being such a tightly-gripping, anxiety-prone, fear-driven control freak (when it comes to certain types of relationships).  I’ve been through a great deal in the past few years – a great deal of loss, and a good amount of emotional trauma.  It’s enough (I can speak from experience) to drive a person a little bat-piddly (I can’t say the word I want to use in an academic paper) crazy.  But enough of that.  I can’t control the past, but I can control what I learn from it, and who I become walking away from it.  Love must always come from an intentional place of strength, not a reactionary place of weakness.  My psychological goal is to develop and build up that base of quiet strength and slowly snuff out the reactionary and the weak.  There are two main practices that will assist in this.  First, I am in counseling.  Second, I intend to actually buckle down and practice the meditation that we’ve engaged in throughout this course.  I’ve done it, and I’ve grumbled, but I intend to do it on an ongoing basis.

Commitment:

                I will draw one of my main strengths to maintain my progress and assess it along the way.  I will write.  I will take the time every day to write down what I’m doing, how I’m doing, what I’m going to do, and how I am going to be.  This will help on a day to day basis to keep being intentional about my thoughts and actions.  In addition, it will give me something to look back on in 3, 6, 9, 12 months, etc.  How am I progressing?  What do I need to work on?  What worked?  What didn’t?  Am I eating well?  How is my exercise regimen coming along?  How is meditation progressing?  What changes am I seeing in myself?  How am I processing through the changes and relationships in my life?

                 

References:  Dacher, E. (2006). Integral Health: The Path to Human Flourishing. Basic Health Publications: California.